Truth & Tenderness Read online

  Readers love the Faith, Love, and Devotion

  series by TERE MICHAELS

  Faith & Fidelity

  “I cried… before the prologue was even finished. I mean the story hadn’t even started and I was a mess! I just do not seem to have the words to say how much I enjoyed this emotional roller coaster.”

  —Prism Book Alliance

  “A lovely, poignant story with heart. I recommend this to any m/m reader, especially if you’re just venturing into the genre.”

  —Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews

  Love & Loyalty

  “Be prepared to laugh a bunch, shed a few tears, and jump for joy when these two find their happy ever after.”

  —Love Bytes

  “This was an amazing addition to Tere Michaels’ Faith, Love, and Devotion series. I look forward to reading many more books by this author. Highly recommended.”

  —The Novel Approach

  Duty & Devotion

  “Those familiar with this author are aware of her talents and her strengths for writing multi-dimensional characters, intelligent dialogue and believable story lines… she has quickly become a favourite author among many readers within the sub-genre.”

  —The Indie Reviewer

  By TERE MICHAELS

  One Holiday Ever After (Multiple Author Anthology)

  One Night Ever After (Multiple Author Anthology)

  Who Knows the Storm

  FAITH, LOVE, AND DEVOTION

  Faith & Fidelity

  Love & Loyalty

  Duty & Devotion

  Cherish & Blessed

  Truth & Tenderness

  Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS

  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com

  Copyright

  Published by

  DREAMSPINNER PRESS

  5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA

  http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Truth & Tenderness

  © 2015 Tere Michaels.

  Cover Art

  © 2015 Aaron Anderson.

  [email protected].

  Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.

  All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/.

  ISBN: 978-1-63216-710-1

  Digital ISBN: 978-1-63216-711-8

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2014921686

  First Edition May 2015

  Printed in the United States of America

  This paper meets the requirements of

  ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992 (Permanence of Paper).

  Acknowledgments

  This has been a long journey—seven years since their story started and twice that from the time that Matt and Evan (and Jim and Griffin) first appeared in my thoughts, and I couldn’t have come this far without the tireless support of friends and family.

  Thank you to my husband and son, who’ve always been so proud and supportive: thank you.

  Thank you to my family and friends, who read a gay romance for the first time just because my name was on it: thank you.

  Thank you to my fellow writers, who’ve celebrated my success, urged me through the dark days, and recommended my work like it was their job: thank you.

  Thank you to my editors and publishers and cover artists and publicity folks: thank you for your amazing work.

  Thank you to my fans—what can I say? Your fierce love (and irritation) for these characters has been a revelation and a dream come true. To invoke passion, to stimulate the creation of actual feelings for fictional characters—it’s what every writer dreams of doing when they sit down with that blank sheet of paper. Thanks, from the bottom of my heart.

  This one’s for you.

  Prologue

  EVAN FIXED his tie in the mirror, smoothing imaginary wrinkles from the dark material as he tucked it into his jacket. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of his hat sitting on the bed, the last piece of his dress blues to put on.

  Today it began.

  His captaincy with the New York City Police Department.

  The swearing-in ceremony at 1 Police Plaza was scheduled to begin in two hours. Downstairs, his family waited—and fidgeted—in their good going-out clothes, with cameras and cell phones ready for his descent. Their raucous laughter and conversation drifted through the door. They were loud and obnoxious, and he had no doubt they were practicing wolf whistles for when he was announced.

  He loved them so much.

  But yeah. Evan Cerelli, captain of Midtown South.

  A box of things collected and forgotten sat on the emptied desk of his new command; a selection of pictures—updated and carefully chosen—waited downstairs in his workbag. Tomorrow at eight in the morning, he would conduct a meeting of senior officers to discuss the current temperature and immediate necessities of the quiet precinct.

  Evan swallowed, smoothed back imaginary unruly hairs of his salt-and-pepper military haircut.

  From rookie on a beat to captain, a twenty-plus-year career shaping into a life he couldn’t even have imagined. He remembered his first swearing-in ceremony when he graduated from the Academy. Sherri and the little girls by his side, their shining and happy faces as he became a member of the NYPD. Sitting across from them at lunch, sharing a tender look with his beautiful wife. Grateful for a job with good pay and great benefits so he could take care of the three people he loved most in the world.

  Evan couldn’t have predicted today. Any of it.

  He blinked at his reflection, a blip in time of a different day, a different room, a different solemn outfit. That was an ending, a painful life-changing agony that he wasn’t sure he could survive, and this—this was his next new beginning.

  Touched by nostalgia, Evan bypassed the hat and went for the small wooden box tucked behind the ceramic lamp on top of his tall dresser. It held three rings: a large gold band, and the smaller matching one with the delicate engagement ring returned to him by the coroner. He brought the box out of the shadows and into the light from the lamp. Easy to remember putting those rings on Sherri’s finger, the cool slide of the metal as she put on his.

  And then the slide off, the decision that while he’d always love his wife, their marriage was in the past and being with Matt was the present.

  The future.

  Evan’s throat tightened. He’d long made peace with the minefield of loving two people so absolutely. The life he lived now didn’t feel like a substitute or settling—Evan had taken the hand dealt to him by circumstances, done his best, learned from his mistakes.

  Learned as best he could.

  Nothing was perfect, but it felt good.

  He brushed his fingertips over the rings, tracing each before shutting the box, and then returned it to its rightful place. Hat in hand, he took one more look i
n the full-length mirror, from shiny shoes to the faint gray mixed among the darkness of his buzz cut. The mantle of captaincy—the family waiting for him, waiting to celebrate this day.

  Evan Cerelli took a deep breath, then went to join his family downstairs.

  Chapter 1

  “DAAAAD!” KATIE yelled, checking her watch with an exaggerated toe-tapping annoyance Matt knew she got from living with him the past few years. The living room was packed with five Cerelli children, Kent the significant other, plus their extended family, Helena and Shane, and the air had started to get a bit ripe.

  “I’m turning on the air-conditioning,” Danny said as he walked by. Matt didn’t try to stop him even as Miranda balked.

  “It’s still winter!” Fortunately her boyfriend, Kent, was there to wrap his arms around her with an accompanying coo.

  “Too many people in the house, not enough air.” Matt glanced at his reflection on the TV screen—off, for once; he didn’t think it had that setting—one last time.

  “Am I taking pictures?” Helena asked, even as her husband, Shane, gently removed the expensive camera from her hands.

  “No, sweetheart.”

  They made an interesting couple, Shane in his snazzy tan suit and jade green tie—and a haircut that probably cost $150—and Helena in her dress blues, pin neat and pulled together. Something about the uniform made Matt melancholy, no doubt the tip of the iceberg before a day spent at 1 Police Plaza, in a sea of blue, with waves of memories washing over him.

  And now all the water metaphors were making him need to take a piss.

  “Daaaaaaaad!” Katie yelled again.

  A door slammed overhead; then the clatter of footsteps began. Shane angled himself like a paparazzo at the bottom of the staircase, jostling against Katie like he was jockeying for best position.

  It escalated quickly, the neat row of Cerelli children school photos shaking against the wall.

  “Oh God, the pictures are going to be blurry,” Miranda huffed from behind them.

  The mock fighting stopped as Evan stepped into view—and Matt let a flirty wolf whistle fly. The blush on his boyfriend’s cheeks made it even more worthwhile.

  “Wow,” Matt said, low and as sexy as he was capable of making his voice.

  Evan smirked as Matt easily pushed his way between Shane and Katie, then closed the distance between them. “Like something you see?” Evan asked quietly.

  But not quietly enough, because retching noises began behind them, led by Helena.

  As Evan paused on the last step, Matt ignored them all, sweeping an arm around Evan’s middle.

  “Whatever dirty thing you’re going to say, shut up,” Evan muttered as he leaned down to kiss Matt on the mouth—quick, fleeting, but sweet enough to make Matt behave.

  “Oh, that’s a nice shot. That’s the cover of our Christmas card right there,” Katie said loudly as Elizabeth giggled.

  Evan leaned around Matt’s embrace. “Can we start making our way out to the car? We’ll take pictures after the ceremony.”

  “Yes, sir!” That was Helena. Then all the kids echoed her sarcastically, even Miranda and Kent.

  “They’re not moving, are they?” Matt asked, sneaking his hand down to pinch Evan’s ass under his jacket.

  “No,” Evan answered as the corners of his mouth began to twitch.

  “I got this.”

  Matt moved quickly because he knew Evan knew what he was going to do—Matt wasn’t subtle. Ever.

  Matt surged up to plant a wicked kiss on Evan’s mouth—tongue, a bitten lip. It sounded wet and dirty, and from the squeals behind him, it looked it too. The door slammed a few seconds later, the hooting and hollering trailing behind the kids a second after.

  Evan pulled away, finally. His mouth looked lush and gorgeous, his eyes were a little unfocused, and a faint hint of perspiration was forming at his hairline.

  And at some point, he’d dropped his hat.

  “That cleared the room,” Evan said, a tiny bit out of breath.

  “We’ll have to remember that after we get back from the ceremony,” Matt said with a smirk, so wicked that Evan shook his head.

  “The uniform, right?”

  “Well, it helps that you’re wearing it and I’m specifically tuned to want to jump you in any and all clothing.” Matt adopted a solemn expression. “That’s probably a good thing, or this could be an especially uncomfortable ceremony in a room with that much blue polyester.” The joking helped, even if Evan’s face was doing that painfully sympathetic thing.

  So Matt kissed him again, bringing one hand up to touch his face gently.

  The gesture said, I’m fine.

  Evan took a deep breath as he came up for air. He nodded, his gaze never leaving Matt’s face.

  That said, I know.

  THEY TOOK three vehicles to 1 Police Plaza, Evan checking his watch the entire time. Matt felt validated with his “you kids go in one car, we’ll go in another” being a good call. He knew his boyfriend, and he knew the freaking out hadn’t reached full capacity yet.

  “We’re good. We’re early. Calm down,” Matt soothed, following the slow-moving traffic toward the nearest parking garage. Three blocks away and he’d already made a reservation online—not to mention he’d purposely gotten everyone out of the house forty minutes early.

  His phone beeped and Evan reached into the center console to read the text.

  “Jim is already here,” he read.

  Matt put on his blinker and waited for an opening in the traffic to pull into the entrance of the underground parking. A guy in an orange vest across the street was waving at him frantically with his flag.

  “I bet you Jim got here an hour ago.”

  Evan read the text again, then laughed as he dropped the phone. “Ninety minutes.”

  Jim Shea, Matt’s old friend and now security company partner, had made the drive down from Dutchess County to help them celebrate. His fiancé, Griffin, was away in Los Angeles finishing up production on a movie, so Matt and Evan were making sure Jim got fed and watered properly in his absence.

  While they weren’t the best of friends, Evan had grown comfortable with Jim’s presence in their lives. And Evan adored Griffin, Jim’s fiancé—who, in turn, adored trying to make Evan sputter in public—and the jealousy he’d felt over Jim and Matt’s one-time affair had dissipated.

  Slowly.

  “Griffin sent me a very nice e-card with a rude joke in it,” Evan commented as Matt finally put Orange Vest Guy out of his misery and pulled in, followed by the second SUV, driven by Miranda, and then Shane and Helena’s kicky Fiat.

  “I would expect nothing else.”

  “He also sent a gift with Jim, but apparently I’m not allowed to open it until we’re alone.”

  Matt fist-pumped as he parked the car at the bottom of the ramp. “Woo-hoo, sex toys!”

  “Oh my God.”

  THE ENTRANCE of 1 Police Plaza, predictably, held a slow-moving line to security. Their sprawling group got ID’d and searched eventually, with everyone seeming to have been bitten by the same jittering bug of nerves at the same time. Evan gave each of the family a kiss (except Kent and Shane, though the latter asked nicely) and then dashed to the stage. Matt watched him go with a ridiculous smile on his face.

  “Ugh, so gross,” Katie said, dreamy and delighted, as she looped her arm around his.

  His favorite Cerelli child on one arm and the two youngest accounted for—Danny shadowing Helena and Shane and Elizabeth stuck to Miranda’s side—Matt led everyone to the auditorium.

  Jim was “by the flags” and saving a row; even with the crush of humanity excitedly filling seats, Matt felt confident Jim’s glare would keep interlopers away.

  He was right.

  In his own Seattle PD dress blues, retired detective Jim Shea cut quite the distinguished figure. Several ladies were checking him out without even bothering to hide it, and at least two rookies tripped on a stripe in the rug walking by.
<
br />   Matt couldn’t hide his grin when he caught Jim’s attention.

  “Hey, Officer Stud. If you had a boom box, everyone would think you were the entertainment,” Matt teased as Jim stood to give him a hug.

  “Jackass.” Jim punched him in the arm as they separated. He exchanged pleasantries with the kids, Shane, and Helena; then everyone played musical chairs for the best view.

  Shane sat on the end, Katie by his side, as professional photographers for the day. Miranda put Elizabeth on her lap so the petite teen could see over the tall people in front of them, while Danny slouched as he played with his phone.

  Matt and Jim sat on the other end, Matt flipping through Jim’s program to find Evan’s name. Two other captains were getting moved up today, and a half-a-dozen speeches were on the agenda as well.

  Boring. He might join Danny and disappear into his phone for a while.

  A bit of jostling about ten rows ahead caught his eye.

  The press.

  More press than usual for this sort of thing, a fact that most people in attendance wouldn’t realize. Matt gave Jim an elbow to his side, gesturing with a chin raise toward the people setting up cameras and microphones.

  “Oh,” Jim said.

  They didn’t say anything out loud. Elizabeth and Danny were in earshot, and who knew what gossips were hanging around behind them.

  Today was interesting beyond the usual buried picture and a few inches of copy. From today on, an openly gay captain would serve in the NYPD.

  “He’s gonna flip,” Jim murmured as Matt sighed, tugging at his tie.

  EVAN SECURED his hat backstage, breathing in and out as people flitted around him. They were about to start, and he couldn’t fight the growing sense of worry. He didn’t like being on display, particularly if it meant calling attention to himself for reasons less than important in his mind. A promotion felt good, but Evan felt much more proud of lives saved than shiny squares on his uniform. This was a course of action that would put him in the spotlight—for things not entirely related to his record.