Forever & Ever Read online

  “Well, now you have to blow me to make up for it.”

  “Yes, dear.” Matt kissed Evan on the cheek.

  They ate the last of the crumb cake in silence.

  “But tomorrow, because I’m tired.”

  Matt sighed dramatically as he drained the last of the champagne. “That didn’t last long.”

  “What?”

  “The newlywed bliss.”

  Evan elbowed him, then stole his last bit of cake. Silly and carefree Evan—he wanted to bottle it and keep it forever, like the wedding video file tucked away in the tax folder on Evan’s phone.

  Matt laid his head against the headboard, studying Evan’s profile. “We’re still not uh… telling people, are we?” he asked cautiously.

  Evan turned his head. “No. Aren’t we?”

  “Yes.” Matt wiped his hands and face with a napkin. “I’m sure about it.”

  “Are you?”

  “Yes.”

  Matt crumpled the napkin into a ball and threw it at Evan’s face. “Who’s on first?”

  “I CAN’T believe no one has figured this out,” Evan murmured into Matt’s ear as they twirled around the dance floor.

  Matt tightened his arms around Evan’s waist, slotting them close together in a way that bordered on dirty.

  Evan didn’t care.

  “Especially since they’re such nosy sons of bitches.”

  They moved slowly, trading off who was leading like it was second nature. They were getting good at this, the give and take, letting instinct be their guide instead of thinking too hard.

  Evan knew, in the quiet of the moment, that this was their real secret. How they made this work—made them work.

  Trust.

  Letting go.

  “Stop thinking so loud. This is romantic,” Matt whispered, ending his words with a kiss against the curve of Evan’s ear.

  It was romantic, cradled in Matt’s arms, the whirling dervish of the night settling around them.

  “We could make an announcement,” he said, thinking of the kids’ excitement, Jim and Griffin’s support, Helena and Shane’s enthusiasm.

  “Or we could keep a secret like we agreed.” Matt moved his head just enough to give Evan a look.

  “Fine.” Evan laid his head back on Matt’s shoulder. A secret just for them. Yes, that seemed right.

  The DJ switched songs but not tempos: an old Motown song that invited more couples to the dance floor. Evan saw love in every stage—blushing teens to folks just grateful to have an intimate moment away from the kids to the smooth dancing moves of those who’d been doing this for decades.

  This wasn’t the way his life was supposed to go, but this was exactly where he was meant to be.

  2: A Christmas Wedding: Matt’s Favorite Child Gets Married

  MATT KNEW it was coming. His stepparent antenna triggered and twitched as the calendar years passed. Danny got taller and taller; Elizabeth became less and less recognizable. As Miranda and Kent settled into an adult relationship, Matt felt the hands of time moving as obviously as his hairline.

  He tried not to see the kids as they were that first snowy day, when he showed up and faced two teenagers and two cherub-faced little ones who invited him for breakfast and never let him leave.

  They were the ones leaving now. Soon.

  Growing up.

  Going to school.

  Picking careers.

  Falling in love.

  Fashioning lives of their own.

  Dealing with these emotions, these logistics, didn’t come naturally to Matt. Every step for each of the kids was like the world’s worst surprise party. You didn’t want it, you refused to participate, but everyone jumped out from behind the sofa anyway.

  Or something like that.

  He tried to prepare, even going so far as googling—the only thing less embarrassing than going to the bookstore and wandering through the self-help section. He went to a Barnes & Noble on Long Island, for God’s sake, just to make sure no one recognized him.

  Jim and Griffin were dealing with potty training—zero help. Same with Bennett and Daisy. Helena just blinked, and Shane threatened to write a play based on “Matt’s beautiful pain.” His friend Liz the Shrink had moved to California in another fit of geographical betrayal.

  He hated them all.

  Bringing it up to Evan seemed cruel, because if Matt felt himself missing piles of laundry, who knew what could trigger Evan?

  WHEN MIRANDA and Kent had gotten married two years ago, it was expected and executed appropriately for the longtime couple. Matt and Evan sat down with Blake and Cornelia—Kent’s parents—and the kids, and with the aid of savings accounts, a calculator, and six pens and legal pads, they’d put a small yet classy affair together. A wedding hall in Brooklyn, her mother’s remade gown, a college friend turned DJ, and a host of tears—it was lovely.

  The long courtship gave Evan time to adjust—mostly. Kent was a great kid from a good family, and Miranda’s turbulent teen years and young adulthood had given way to a measured and responsible woman with goals and plans, like she’d taken Evan’s neurotic streak and refined and aimed it toward whatever she decided to do next. When she and Kent felt bored by the prospect of international banking (and who could blame them), they turned their attention to technical writing, opening up a small and lucrative company of their own out of their Brooklyn apartment.

  He was proud of how little he cried. In public, that was. No one blamed him for needing two tissues when Miranda asked Matt to dance at the reception.

  Time marched on, but at least it seemed to be going in a good direction.

  Six months after the wedding, Katie, their second-oldest, came home from Boston for the holidays with a boy.

  Which was not unusual. Katie always seem to have a swarm of them around her; Matt and Evan had met a few here or there over the years, during college visits and then later when she’d made the permanent move to Boston to work for the Celtics front office.

  “The Celtics!”

  “Matt, calm down. At least it’s not the Red Sox.”

  “I know, I just… I feel so betrayed. We raised her better than that.”

  But this time the boy was a man named Austin, and he looked like a male model doing a photo shoot as a college professor. Warm brown skin and artfully braided hair that fell down to his shoulders, tall and slight—and blinking adoring eyes behind thick nerd glasses that weren’t just for show. A true genius, apparently, studying a mishmash of words that Evan didn’t understand at MIT. A true genius who apparently didn’t realize he looked like he fell out of the pages of Vogue for Dudes.

  “That isn’t what it’s called, Matt.”

  “Why do you know that?”

  “I don’t know the exact name, I’m just saying it’s probably not Vogue for Dudes.”

  Austin brought a lot of things into the relationship, one of which was a four-year-old boy named Josiah who lived with his father full-time. A ready-made family, which caused the entire relationship to bypass “dating and casual” for “serious as hell” in a hot second.

  From the outside, one might imagine Matt’s reluctance stemmed from the difficulties they might face together: Austin’s potential career demands and travel, being an interracial couple, having a small child to raise right off the bat. They were both still in their twenties—even smart people needed life experience, and they were starting low in that department.

  But everyone who knew Matt knew it wasn’t any of those things.

  On the other hand, Austin’s youth and his fatherhood were the biggest icebreaker for Evan, because he knew the struggle of being a single father, and he admired Austin’s parenting more than anything on his résumé. Josiah was a sweet and charming little boy who had him and Matt in his pocket by the end of their first visit.

  Evan monitored the situation like he was on a case: new information was carefully cataloged; assessments were made. He talked to Katie, assuring her that Matt would come around. He tal
ked to Matt to remind him that he needed to get over himself.

  “It’s too soon.”

  “For what? Her to fall in love?”

  “Ugh, shut up. Stop saying those words.”

  “You know they’re living together….”

  “You’re her father! Why aren’t you more….”

  “More what? Anxious? Twitchy? We have two more to go after this, Matt. I’d like to have a stomach lining when I retire.”

  One night a knock at the door revealed Austin nervously clutching an overnight bag. As soon as Evan opened the door, he knew exactly what this visit was about.

  “Katie thinks this is a misogynistic ritual and I’m caving to archaic societal expectations,” Austin began once they installed him at the dining room table with a beer.

  Matt took two.

  “And yet you’re here,” Matt said.

  “Well, I respect Katie’s thoughts on this—honestly, I feel the same way. Katie isn’t property, and we are absolutely equals in every respect to our relationship,” he said, slowly peeling the wrapper off the bottle.

  “But?” Evan prompted.

  “My parents told me to get my ass down here and do this right.”

  “Or else?”

  Austin finally cracked a smile. “You know my parents?”

  “It’s in the old-school handbook.” Evan put a soothing hand on Matt’s shaking leg, which was currently rattling the table. “I’m looking forward to meeting them.”

  Austin’s smile brightened.

  “And I know,” Evan continued, “that you have the utmost respect for my daughter and have no crazy ideas of including the word obey in any sort of, uh… ceremony… you might be planning.”

  “She’d kill me.”

  “I’d hold you down,” Matt muttered.

  Evan squeezed his knee. “It’s nice to hear you say it, though, just like it’s appreciated, you coming down to talk to us.”

  The young man swallowed, then sat up a bit straighter. With his dress shirt and tie, he looked like he was about to sell them insurance. “Well, sir. Sirs. I’d like to make it official. Katie is—Katie is everything I could have imagined in a partner. I’m a logical person, a scientist, I like order and reason, and for all the lists I could make you of why I love her, there’s just a whole lot of…” He paused to take a deep breath. “…stuff I can’t explain. And that’s the best part.” Austin took another, deeper breath. “The way she’s taken to my son is a gift, and he loves her back, so much. I feel so fortunate to have found her.” He paused again, appearing to collect himself. “I’m going to ask Katie to marry me when I get back to Boston. And I’d like to take your blessing back with me.”

  Evan could see Austin’s earnest and honest feelings for his daughter written all over his face. He was sure. He knew Katie was sure. He knew that without his blessing, they would be getting married anyway—but he didn’t want that moment to have any shadows hanging over it.

  “Absolutely,” Evan said, trying to keep Austin from passing out. Holding your breath that long wasn’t healthy. “We’re glad to have you and Josiah as part of the family.”

  Austin’s gaze went to Matt; he and Katie had clearly discussed the most important part of this conversation, and Evan only felt a twinge of slight.

  The leg jiggling stopped and the table went still. Now it was Evan’s turn to take a deep breath before turning to Matt.

  “Be good to her,” Matt said finally, extending his hand across the table.

  The “or else” was implied as Austin broken into a relieved grin.

  “Thank you.”

  Sincere handshakes all around.

  Beers consumed.

  Austin slept on the couch while Matt and Evan held each other upstairs.

  “A CHRISTMAS wedding and white tuxes—how could this day get any better?” Matt grumbled, readjusting his holly-green velvet bow tie in the hotel room mirror. The sprig of holly and berries on his lapel jiggled ominously and threatened to end up on the floor.

  Evan’s own butterflies—his joy, his tinge of sadness that Sherri wasn’t here to see Katie walk down the aisle, the fact that he was now technically a grandparent—propelled him across the room. He wound his arms around Matt’s middle, resting his chin on his shoulder.

  They made a striking couple if he did say so himself. Fathers of the bride. He thought back to their secret city hall wedding, remembering their giddy joy.

  Except right now Matt’s eyes were watery and Evan’s mouth couldn’t quite find a smile without the wobble of his lower lip.

  “It’ll be okay,” Evan said gently, for both of them. “She’s making the right decision for her.”

  Matt hmphed, sliding his hands over Evan’s. “He’s got her dazzled.”

  “She’s pretty dazzling herself.”

  Matt gave him a pointed look. “No kidding. I just don’t want them to make a mistake.”

  Neither did Evan, but then again, he’d made his own decisions over the years that others had scoffed at. And they’d all turned out to be right in the end. “Whatever happens, we’ll be here for her.”

  Matt sighed as he squeezed Evan’s hand.

  “You know, we’re far too young to be grandfathers….”

  “Shut up, please.” Matt shuddered. “I don’t want to talk about that part.”

  “Josiah’s a great kid. And besides, it probably won’t be long before either Miranda or Katie gets pregnant.” Evan felt himself rambling as nerves pinched his insides. “We need to get used to it.”

  “What the hell do I know about little kids and babies?”

  Evan made a face at Matt’s reflection. “You helped me raise my four. You’ve been around the girls since they were born. How have you not noticed you’re the child whisperer?”

  “That sounds weird, like I shouldn’t be able to go to the playground,” Matt grumbled. He turned into Evan’s arms until they were nose to nose.

  “You are more of a mess than I am. How is that even possible?” Evan said, a tease in his voice.

  “She’s just….”

  “She’s not too young. Older than I was when I became a father for the first time.” Evan rubbed circles onto Matt’s back. “She’s so mature and smart and capable—we did a great job with her.”

  Matt let out a soft puff of laughter and then pressed their lips together for a gentle moment. “Maybe you and….”

  Evan was already shaking his head. “You and me and Sherri did a great job with those kids,” he said firmly. “And Katie is going to be the best mom.”

  EVAN MANAGED to drag Matt out of their hotel room and down to the lobby where they would meet the rest of the wedding party. Katie and her bridesmaids, including both of her sisters, were already on their way, as were Austin and his group of MIT friends (none of whom looked like a model, which Matt found suspicious for no reason other than “it’s weird. Is he the only hot guy who goes to school there?”).

  Their limo would take them to the church for their first view of Katie in her dress, something that Evan was dreading only because one handkerchief wasn’t going to be nearly enough to stem his emotions.

  They rode the elevator down in silence, hands clasped between them. Evan tried not to fixate on white tuxes and the general dirt level of New York City in December. Then he started thinking about Katie getting married and how the twins were going off to college… and went back to the condition of his cuffs by the time the reception rolled around.

  In the lobby, among the sleek modern furniture and entering/exiting tourists, Evan spotted the mop of brown hair belonging to his son, Danny. Next to him were the flower girls, chattering to each other as the teenager ignored his surroundings to play on his phone.

  They were in charge of Sadie Ames and Caroline Drake-Shea until the church, while their parents enjoyed a rare morning out for brunch and mimosas without having to cut anyone’s food or ask the waiter for chicken fingers.

  Bliss.

  Evan dragged Matt to the seating
area and sent him to the couch to sit with Sadie and Caroline, both of whom wore matching holly-green velvet dresses with wreaths of white roses and holly on their heads. While he’d kept his mouth shut through the entire process of “swatches” and “concept boards,” Evan continuously marveled that in the end, they all looked like tiny desserts at a holiday party.

  Within seconds the girls were swarming Matt, asking him questions about the limo and the reception and when did they get cake?

  The tiny smile creeping onto Matt’s face told Evan he’d made the right decision.

  “Where’s Kent?”

  Danny didn’t even look up from his phone. “He went outside to tell the limo to go around the block once until you got down here.”

  “Why didn’t you call us?” Evan felt the nerves start to creep up. His daughter was getting married. They were in Manhattan, home to traffic and all sorts of potential emergencies that might delay them getting to the church and that would throw the timing of everything off, and what if—

  “Dad,” Danny said loudly. He leaned his head back so he could give his father that exasperated stare he had perfected over the years. “We’re still a half hour ahead of schedule. Katie built in worry time.” Smirking, Danny went back to the starburst explosions and fast-moving ships on his phone.

  Evan reined in his worries, ruffling his son’s hair as he walked past. No force on earth—not even Miranda—could get the teen to cut his mop before the big day. He’d brushed it and put a little product in it, all the concession they were getting. Sadie and Caroline were perched on Matt’s lap, their twin adoring gazes focused on his better half.

  He smothered the urge to point out green fuzzies on white pants.

  AS HE listened to Sadie and Caroline ping-pong storytell him about their trip to the hair salon with Sadie’s mommy, Daisy, Matt reflected that one day he’d watch these two little cupcakes get married, and inexplicably, that made him feel better.

  Someday he’d be kicking back some champagne and chilling as he watched two sets of his dearest friends—Jim giving Caro away? They’d have to buy elephant tranquilizers—run around, weeping and bleeding money, as they turned their precious children over to strangers.